Last two years I have been trying to get some motivation for studying. I have been working and travelling, spending my gap years wisely. And now it's time to decide one of the hardest things in my life.
This past two years, I have had place to study in social services. I have postponed going in and starting studying, because well.. I don't have any motivation. I don't know what do I want to do later in my life. I don't have any goals. And it's hard to score if you don't have goals.
Next autumn I really have to decide do I want to start studying there or not. I also have three entrance exam this spring, two already done. I don't think I'll get in any of those. But no worries, I still have my place in social services!
But if I'm really honest - I'm not sure do I want to go there anymore. I find it pretty stupid to study something, when you have a feeling, you won't ever work in that field.
In fact, I have been thinking.. What if these mood swings are my hearts way to tell me, that I should not study, not right now. Right after I realized there's a change that I can't start studying in social services because of my mental health I filled with peacefulness.
It's hard to tell which one is my heart's true voice.
Love,
Ambivalent
No comments:
Post a Comment