Time slows down.

Do you know those times when everything happens so fast and days feels so long? I have been living in that fantastic bubble over a week now, but it feels much longer time. What can happen in little over one week?

I have been sick.

I have lived with Red. 

I have driven to Kotka and back.

I have finished project report and the whole course.

I have cooked in friend's house without her being home. 

I have driven to Red's place middle of the night. 

I have cooked more than ever before.

I have dreamed about summer.

And the balcony.. 

But most importantly

-

My key collection has grown by one. 

Look at my balls. They are having sex. Those dirty little.. 

All my loved ones are starting to gather up and it feels amazing. Celebration for the First of May is starting tomorrow and I just love this world.

Love,
Ambivalent

and I was empty

So what was the Leuven trip for me? It was meeting new people, getting known to my teachers better, realizing how much I have changed again. I was hanging with few guys from Belgium, France and England. And of course with K. We went out almost every night because we didn't want to miss anything.

Partying in Leuven isn't that different than in Finland, but there's much more student parties and cheaper beer. The normal beer size was 0,2 litres and it cost 1-2euros. Here in Finland normal beer is at least 0,33 litres and usually in bars it's 0,4litres. It costs 2-6euros here, so yeah - it's little bit cheaper in Belgium but not as much as it felt.

At some point I was thinking how is it possible I'm not drunk yet even though I had drank at least 6 beers, but then I realized - since I hate the taste of regular beer, the beers I drank were special flavour beer like cherry and peach. And those beer weren't the normal 4,7%, they were 2,5% or 3,5%. Of course it wasn't the same as back home.

I spent most of the time with other students and at the some point I realized I'm not that into partying like them. The bars were crowded, music was in dutch (oh my, now I understand the exchange students who hate when DJ starts to play Finnish rap on night club..) and I wasn't drunk enough to enjoy it. I know you don't need to be drunk to party, but lately I have been so anxious it has been almost impossible to go out - even when drunk.

One night I ended up having a small panic attack on the streets of Leuven and realized I haven't been out without Ted or Red for a long time. They have been my support in the night and I have got used to having them around me. They have been the ones I can count on and being out without them is like my wings have been ripped off.

I use to be independent, but lately I have become insecure, introverted, anxious. I have started to fear the outside world and it takes so much energy to actually go out and meet people. After the whole week being social and studying, I was exhausted. I just wanted to sleep, I wanted to cry, I never ever wanted to leave my apartment again.

But right now, it's all better now and I'm already waiting for my next trip. Next stop: Utrecht, Netherlands. In May I'll be there for one week to innovate. It's gonna be interesting.

Love,
Ambivalent

About Leuven

Everyone knows how much I love travelling and how the passion runs in me. I want to learn about the world and from it, I want to feel everything, I want to see everything. I think that's the reason why I am always seeking projects or opportunities to go abroad. My latest conquest is Leuven, Belgium.

I have mentioned going there, but I haven't written anything specific about the trip. So here it comes.

When my responsible teacher asked me last year if I want to go to Leuven for project week, I said yes without any hesitation. I asked my school friend K to join me and when he was as excited as I was,  the adventure began. I knew this trip will be awesome. Two teachers and two students. 

This was the first time someone else has booked my flights since Sicily and I admit it felt weird. I was travelling with other people, my schedule was planned by someone else and I didn't have the usual freedom I'm used to having. It was step to unknown but I survived it. 

Our Finnish team flew to Brussels on Monday morning and since our teachers had been to Leuven so many times, they had some traditions. We took the train to Leuven and accidentally stayed in first class.. First thing in Leuven was to get beer from the bar next to the station. It was kind of weird, because I haven't actually talked with those teachers that much. I have known them, but I have kept my distance. Now they were buying beer for me and talking how we should party. Teachers and students can be friends, that much I learnt. 

K and I went to drop out luggage to the hostel and soon we were on our way to school. KHLeuven was really big, but nice. Teachers and buddies were nice and everyone was taking such a good care of us. Our project was Big Data: the sky is the limit? and basically we needed to make a website that gathers information as much as possible about someone. It was fun project even though I couldn't do that much since I don't know any Java. 

Anyway, we spent the next three days trying to make the website work and on Friday we presented our final products. Our team didn't win, what a surprise! You can find some tweets about it here. The monsters are mine..

So that's basically what the project week in Leuven was officially. Next time - what it really was for me.

Love,

Ambivalent