Being yourself can be hard

Many people seek balance in their life. They want stable relationship, study quickly and start working. Work from 8 am to 4 pm, have weekends off. Have a big house, dog and cute kid, maybe two. Meet their friends occasionally, save money for vacations, travel some warm place with their kids. Have a nice career, move forward in their life. Live in the balanced life, the usual life. The life which is acceptable by society.

What happens to people who doesn't want that? 

People who want more from their life. They don't want to stay in one place, they live for experience. They feel strongly about everything, they follow their dreams. Take a leap of faith, create themselves, be different. Or people who doesn't want to own house, who doesn't want to have kids - ever. Doesn't want to take loan, who doesn't value money that much. Who doesn't care about nice career, they just need money enough to make things they really like. No matter what is it.

Those people are usually labeled as unstable or crazy. Many people say it's just a phase, you will calm down. Like it's bad thing to want something different from life, bad thing to be restless. And you know, right now I feel like one of those people.

I seek chaos, it makes me feel alive. I love the feeling when there's everything going on around. I want to experiece new things, see the world. Do something different every day, love the world, enjoy little things.
But I hear voice of society way too loud and even though I try to ignore them, they keep coming back. It's hard to be yourself, when being yourself isn't normative.

I try my best. I don't know how to control this restlessness or well, I think the problem is that I don't want to control it. I like it, and it's part of me. All I want to do, is have fun, create myself and enjoy life.

Love,
Ambivalent