Days are flying by, they mix together and you can't tell what happened when, why something happened. Everything is blurry. I do so much and at the same time - nothing. You can't tell difference between days, they are so identical. How did I end up this again?
I have tried to avoid this situation so long, but it's so hard. No matter how much I avoid ordinary days, they find you. Even if you do something new or special everyday, it becomes normal at some point. How can you experience those awesome feelings what you get when you do something crazy, when nothing is unusual anymore? When nothing feels different anymore.
I do so much and at the same time - nothing. I'm trapped in this madness again. I wanna feel something. I wanna stare at the sky and scream, dance in the middle of the street, flirt with strangers. I wanna lay at the bed, put my legs on the wall, hold hands and laugh.
I need something, but I don't know what. I need to find that out. I need to find my next guide. And I'm not sure who will be my next guide. I'm lost, but I know I'll find my way back on track.
Love,
Ambivalent
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