Geez. 4 nights before Iceland and I'm sick.
This started yesterday and I think that I haven't ever got so sick so quickly. My throat is killing me, it hurts to breathe. I can't do anything right know. I had to go and see doctor earlier today and walking there was awful. It took so long and I felt dizzy.
Now I'm on sick leave for three days. I really hope I get better before Friday. I have huge party waiting for me in Iceland! There's Verslunarmannahelgin aka Versló when I go there. I don't have any idea what is it, but M has talked about it so much that I think it has to be something big. I believe its whole town festival or something like that. Well, I'll find out that soon.
I can't wait going to Iceland! I have been waiting this so long. I can't believe I'm actually going there. I think I won't believe that before I'm on the plane.
Love,
Ambivalent
Monday, July 30, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
Amsterdam 22.-26.10.2011
Last autumn my boyfriend went to Spain with his friends. Right after that two of my best friends went to Rome. I started to think. Everyone else was going abroad while I was sitting in home and just dreaming about travelling.
I needed a break from my life. I had just ended my long therapeutic relationship and I felt kinda out of place. I decided that it's time for me to try my wings. I just knew that I needed to get away from my home country and go somewhere no one knows me. I had to find myself.
So I started to look for a place to go. I spent many hours compering hostels, flights and countries. Finally I ended up to Amsterdam. I selected best days, booked a hostel and told everyone that I'm going. No one seemed to understand why I did it. Why now, why couldn't I wait half year and save some more money.
I knew that if I don't go now, I won't ever go.
Amsterdam was lovely. I stayed at Flying Pigs Downtown hostel and I met many new people. I bought Iamsterdam-card which includes public transport pass, discounts and free tickets to many places. I planned to visit almost in 20 museums, but I had time only about half of it. I visited Heineken Experience, House of Bols, Houseboat, NEMO, Madame Tussauds and many more. But I think that those museums weren't the thing what made my trip awesome. It was all those lovely people with me.
First night I met C. C was from USA. I spent all night with him and oh, I had so much fun! We talked, he showed me things like predicting from handwriting. It was so nice, but we never kept in touch. He left next morning, so we don't have anything else common. But still I sometimes miss him. He is my Facebook friend, but we don't talk to each other, we just don't have anything to say.
But later on that trip I met D and E. I met them in the bar where I didn't fit at all. That bar was nothing like bars here. Boys danced and they weren't trying to hit girls. Girls didn't have dresses, almost every girl had jeans and t-shirts. It was so strange because I have got used to that every girl wear dress in bar. And if they aren't wearing dress, they have had some effort. They have beautiful shirts, not regular shirts, strong make-up and high heels. It was so strange to be only woman there, who had dress. And there was so many boys. I think that almost 80% were boys. It was really strange.
But luckily I met D and E. I talked with them, drank and changed numbers. Next they came to museums with me. I can't believe that I actually made two boys come to bag and purse museum. But they did it. They really came with me. They spent all day with me. They took me their favorite bar where we played pool and drank Jägermeister shots. Those shots were the cheapest in Amsterdam. I have to admit that I had worst hungover in my life. It lasted like 4 days, DAYS! And yea, I had flight to home next day. It was pretty interesting trip.
I miss D and E. They were awesome. I hope that I can go and visit them someday. I'll definitely go back there someday, but I don't have money or time to go there right now. I have too many trips to make before that. Luckily we still talk to each other. Not that often, but at least a little bit. It's all that matters.
That trip changed everything. I realized that I love travelling alone. I like that feeling when I can make all the decisions. I'm really bad making decisions and I figured that out in Amsterdam.Before that I haven't ever noticed it. I haven't ever done anything alone. It took like 2 hours to decide what I wanna eat. I just walked around the city and tried to choose restaurant for me. But it was only good for me. I needed to realize that. It's my weak point and I have to work with it.
Anyway. That trip reminded me about my dreams. About that how good it can feel, when you are truly yourself. It's so much easier to remember that when you're not home. I feel more home abroad, no matter where. It feels like my heart is there, waiting me to come.
Those 5 days where more than just 5 days. They showed my path.
Love,
Ambivalent
I needed a break from my life. I had just ended my long therapeutic relationship and I felt kinda out of place. I decided that it's time for me to try my wings. I just knew that I needed to get away from my home country and go somewhere no one knows me. I had to find myself.
So I started to look for a place to go. I spent many hours compering hostels, flights and countries. Finally I ended up to Amsterdam. I selected best days, booked a hostel and told everyone that I'm going. No one seemed to understand why I did it. Why now, why couldn't I wait half year and save some more money.
I knew that if I don't go now, I won't ever go.
Amsterdam was lovely. I stayed at Flying Pigs Downtown hostel and I met many new people. I bought Iamsterdam-card which includes public transport pass, discounts and free tickets to many places. I planned to visit almost in 20 museums, but I had time only about half of it. I visited Heineken Experience, House of Bols, Houseboat, NEMO, Madame Tussauds and many more. But I think that those museums weren't the thing what made my trip awesome. It was all those lovely people with me.
First night I met C. C was from USA. I spent all night with him and oh, I had so much fun! We talked, he showed me things like predicting from handwriting. It was so nice, but we never kept in touch. He left next morning, so we don't have anything else common. But still I sometimes miss him. He is my Facebook friend, but we don't talk to each other, we just don't have anything to say.
But later on that trip I met D and E. I met them in the bar where I didn't fit at all. That bar was nothing like bars here. Boys danced and they weren't trying to hit girls. Girls didn't have dresses, almost every girl had jeans and t-shirts. It was so strange because I have got used to that every girl wear dress in bar. And if they aren't wearing dress, they have had some effort. They have beautiful shirts, not regular shirts, strong make-up and high heels. It was so strange to be only woman there, who had dress. And there was so many boys. I think that almost 80% were boys. It was really strange.
But luckily I met D and E. I talked with them, drank and changed numbers. Next they came to museums with me. I can't believe that I actually made two boys come to bag and purse museum. But they did it. They really came with me. They spent all day with me. They took me their favorite bar where we played pool and drank Jägermeister shots. Those shots were the cheapest in Amsterdam. I have to admit that I had worst hungover in my life. It lasted like 4 days, DAYS! And yea, I had flight to home next day. It was pretty interesting trip.
I miss D and E. They were awesome. I hope that I can go and visit them someday. I'll definitely go back there someday, but I don't have money or time to go there right now. I have too many trips to make before that. Luckily we still talk to each other. Not that often, but at least a little bit. It's all that matters.
That trip changed everything. I realized that I love travelling alone. I like that feeling when I can make all the decisions. I'm really bad making decisions and I figured that out in Amsterdam.Before that I haven't ever noticed it. I haven't ever done anything alone. It took like 2 hours to decide what I wanna eat. I just walked around the city and tried to choose restaurant for me. But it was only good for me. I needed to realize that. It's my weak point and I have to work with it.
Anyway. That trip reminded me about my dreams. About that how good it can feel, when you are truly yourself. It's so much easier to remember that when you're not home. I feel more home abroad, no matter where. It feels like my heart is there, waiting me to come.
Those 5 days where more than just 5 days. They showed my path.
Love,
Ambivalent
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Love me or not
I'm missing travelling. I have been home too long now. I wanna go again. But it's impossible. I can't. I can't, because I have to take care of my cats. As much as I love them, they can be such a pain in the ass. I can't wait that my boyfriend comes home! Then I can go and travel.
But luckily I'm going to Iceland in three weeks. It's still so far away. Hopefully time goes fast.
I'll be visiting my friend in Akureyri. I met him in Sicily and we just got along so well. It was like meeting your soul mate. After my Sicily trip I started to plan going to Iceland.
You can imagine that my boyfriend wasn't so happy about that. I just came home from Sicily and told him that I met a wonderful guy there and I'm going to see him next summer! But he's okay with that now, I hope.
Someone might say that I'm crazy because I'm travelling alone. I'm going to Iceland and I'm staying with my friend who I have known week. We spent a week together in Sicily, but after that we have only talked on Skype or Facebook. If that's crazy enough, add there a jealous boyfriend who doesn't believe that I'm not going to cheat on him. And still I'm going. Why? Because I decided that I won't let anyone or anything come between me and my dreams.
If I want to travel, I can't be with someone who doesn't let me to do it. I know that I might have to give up something to achieve my goals and that's okay. If my boyfriend can't handle my travelling, he isn't the right for me. Not now at least. Luckily he is okay with it right now, but if there's gonna be the day when I have to decide between my dreams and him, I'll choose my dreams. As much as I love him, I'll regret if I do (or in this case if I don't do) things just because someone says so. This is my life. I have to make my own decisions.
Okay, I didn't plan to write about that. My intention was writing about my Iceland trip. Maybe I write about it later.
Love,
Ambivalent
But luckily I'm going to Iceland in three weeks. It's still so far away. Hopefully time goes fast.
I'll be visiting my friend in Akureyri. I met him in Sicily and we just got along so well. It was like meeting your soul mate. After my Sicily trip I started to plan going to Iceland.
You can imagine that my boyfriend wasn't so happy about that. I just came home from Sicily and told him that I met a wonderful guy there and I'm going to see him next summer! But he's okay with that now, I hope.
Someone might say that I'm crazy because I'm travelling alone. I'm going to Iceland and I'm staying with my friend who I have known week. We spent a week together in Sicily, but after that we have only talked on Skype or Facebook. If that's crazy enough, add there a jealous boyfriend who doesn't believe that I'm not going to cheat on him. And still I'm going. Why? Because I decided that I won't let anyone or anything come between me and my dreams.
If I want to travel, I can't be with someone who doesn't let me to do it. I know that I might have to give up something to achieve my goals and that's okay. If my boyfriend can't handle my travelling, he isn't the right for me. Not now at least. Luckily he is okay with it right now, but if there's gonna be the day when I have to decide between my dreams and him, I'll choose my dreams. As much as I love him, I'll regret if I do (or in this case if I don't do) things just because someone says so. This is my life. I have to make my own decisions.
Okay, I didn't plan to write about that. My intention was writing about my Iceland trip. Maybe I write about it later.
Love,
Ambivalent
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Welcome to the journey
I have a problem.
How to find yourself if you're with someone? How to find yourself in your small hometown? I have been thinking about it lately and well, I still haven't figured it out.
Anyway. I'm Ambivalent. Age 21. Gender female. From Europe. Living with guy. I have two cats and I love them. I'm having my year off, but I know that I have to start studying next year. I don't have any motivation to study right now, but I hope that will change before I start my studies. I want to travel around the world. I wanna live abroad. I want to find myself, I wanna know what I really want to do, what I want from life, who I wanna be.
Some calls me crazy, but I usually travel alone. I don't wanna have anyone with me. It's easier to meet new people and maybe travel with them for a while. Okay, I have been alone only in Amsterdam and Sicily. But it's a start. Travelling is my way to find myself. And now it feels like I can't truly find myself if someone is with me. It's so hard to know what I want if there's someone else telling me what he/she wants.
Right now I don't have any idea what I want. But I'm on my way to find out.
Welcome to the journey. Hope you like it.
Love,
Ambivalent
ps. English isn't my mother language, but I wanna learn to use it as much as possible. So don't judge me if my English isn't that good.
How to find yourself if you're with someone? How to find yourself in your small hometown? I have been thinking about it lately and well, I still haven't figured it out.
Anyway. I'm Ambivalent. Age 21. Gender female. From Europe. Living with guy. I have two cats and I love them. I'm having my year off, but I know that I have to start studying next year. I don't have any motivation to study right now, but I hope that will change before I start my studies. I want to travel around the world. I wanna live abroad. I want to find myself, I wanna know what I really want to do, what I want from life, who I wanna be.
Some calls me crazy, but I usually travel alone. I don't wanna have anyone with me. It's easier to meet new people and maybe travel with them for a while. Okay, I have been alone only in Amsterdam and Sicily. But it's a start. Travelling is my way to find myself. And now it feels like I can't truly find myself if someone is with me. It's so hard to know what I want if there's someone else telling me what he/she wants.
Right now I don't have any idea what I want. But I'm on my way to find out.
Welcome to the journey. Hope you like it.
Love,
Ambivalent
ps. English isn't my mother language, but I wanna learn to use it as much as possible. So don't judge me if my English isn't that good.
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