Maybe I'll figure it out some day.

I realized today, I really need to change my thoughts about studying. Somehow. Because my thoughts about it are so wrong.

I'm gonna go to school, sit there four years and then I'm gonna go back to my old job. 

Are you serious, I have to do internship during summer? 

I can't work in supermarket on my vacations?

Wait, are you saying that I'm supposed to work on my own field after graduating?

That's insane.

I'm gonna work every day after school. And weekend too. 

Okay, maybe Wednesdays could be free, I need time to go student parties. 

I can't see myself working somewhere else. I like work, I like my boss, I like my co-workers. I love what I do. I enjoy being there. Still I'm going to study something else, even though I don't have any intention to work some other place. For some reason I have a feeling that I have to study, I need some education. After that I'm free to do whatever I want.

And no, I don't want to study economics either, because in my opinion -  it's just stupid. I already work on that field - why should I study more to do the same thing. Isn't that waste of time?

You see my problem with studying? 

For me studying is kind of stupid and insane because I can't see myself getting anything from it. I'm going to study and then hopefully return to full time job in supermarket. Studying for studying. Yea, almost makes sense.

But maybe I'll figure it out while studying.

Love,

Ambivalent

ps. during writing this I have decided to study IT, economics, social services.. And be doctor, goldsmith and bartender. And work onboard.