Anxiety to anger

It started as anxiety. I wanted to get out, away from all the people. My heart was pumping and for a millisecond - I was sure I'm gonna die.

Then suddenly it changed. I let the anxiety flow through me and this time it passed. It's rare it goes away so easily, but it didn't bother me. I was just happy I could breath.

It wasn't anxiety anymore, it became anger. Or I think it was irritation. Everyone around me were too slow, too sad, too tired. They smiled the wrong way, talked boring things or whatever the reason was.

I wanted everyone gone, I worked kind of fast and oh, the looks I got. Of course I smiled to everyone, but well.. I always work fast, but if I worked even faster - it might have looked bad.

I let the irritation flow also through me and it was awesome. I had my energy, even though it wasn't the usual "happy happy joy joy" energy, it made me work better. And I felt good. Annoyed, but good.

It so weird for me to be okay with feelings like this.

Love,
Ambivalent