Because the world is beautiful

Three weeks, eight countries.

Love,

Ambivalent

A way back home

It's always weird to come back. Realize that it's over, it's time to go home. This trip has been awesome, I have experienced so much, learnt new things about the world and of course about myself. I believe I'm little bit closer being the person I want to be. Baby steps.

When I started this trip I was extremely nervous. More nervous than I have ever been before travelling. I had problems with concentrating and I was afraid that I won't be able to concentrate when I'm travelling. That I end up doing nothing, because I can't keep my attention on anything longer than one minute.

I was totally wrong. During this trip I have been more sensible, reasonable, wiser. I have been able to think, write, talk with people. I have been in this reality more than last four month. I was kind of surprised, how is it possible.

But when you think about it, it's not that weird. I love travelling, it makes me feel like home. It's only natural if it's easier for me to be and live.

Now I'm losing it again. I'm getting more and more restless, I can't concentrate on anything. My thoughts are jumping from one to another and it's hard to keep up. But it's okay. 

Love,

Ambivalent

..your own reality

Reality is funny thing. You can never be sure what is real and what's not. You see people next to you, you talk with them and they agree with you that sky is blue, leafs are green or house in front of you is white. Or what ever.

How can you be sure that those people are real and you are sharing the same reality? What if they are just part of your imagination? Your own way to make yourself to believe this is real. I could go quite deep with this, but I won't. Let's just assume that the reality is what majority of people believes to be real.

So what do you do, when your reality doesn't match with majority?

When you have ability see things that most of the people doesn't see, when you hear things other ones doesn't. When you see colours and lights brighter, when you can understand other's feelings even if they don't say anything. When you love the feeling of hot asphalt in your feet, rain in your face. When you don't care about the pain.

You try to find people who share the same reality with you. People who see things like you, who values same things, who believes you are right.

And when you find those people, in one way - you become part of the majority. Which means that your reality just became true.

Love,

Ambivalent

You create..

Sometimes it feels like I'm living on different reality than others. I'm on my little world, feeling all those emotions, thinking of all those thoughts, seeing all those things. I'm there and when I try to explain them to others, no one seems to understand what I mean.

I find this normal world quite boring. Still I have to be here, because that's what people do. Even if they don't like it, even if they would be so much happier somewhere else.

And what's keeping me? Fear.

Fear is really powerful weapon. It can stop you doing the things you love, it can hold you back. But it can also give you so much power. It's okay to be scared. You just can't let it take control. You have to learn how to live with it.

I don't know how. I don't know how to take the biggest step, how to take a risk. How to jump without knowing what's coming. I'm a control freak and I hate it.

I want to be the person Dancing boy saw in me.

I want to be the person Red sees in me.

I want to be the person Ted sees in me.

I want to be the person who I'm with those people.

Love,

Ambivalent

Why does it feel so odd?

My trip is near to its end. I have been on train 18 hours now and I just changed my train in Copenhagen. In few hours I should arrive in Göterborg, where I change my train again and then I'll be on my way to Oslo.

I should arrive there after 28 hours travelling. Which is the longest time I have spent on this trip to get one place to another.

I really want to write, because now I have time. But my brain says no. For some reason I don't know what should I write. It shouldn't be this hard. It wasn't this hard earlier. I knew exactly what I want to write, what I want to tell you. What I want to remember. Now I just don't know.

Maybe it's because I'm ending my trip soon and I can feel it. There won't be any partying anymore, there won't be any life-changing experiences. I'm going to spent time with my aunt, relax, eat well and talk. It's awesome, but it's different than travelling.

Or maybe it's because my school starts soon. Even though I don't want to think about it yet, I have few days left on my vacation, but it's starting to get me. I feel like my mind is getting ready for the fact that in few days I'm gonna be a student. Again.

Of course I have known that I'm gonna be a student soon, but now I'm actually starting to realize it. There are so many things I have to do before my school starts! Like fill up many papers, get pencils, find my calculator, wash all my clothes.. Funny thing is that I'm going home on night between Monday and Tuesday. Then on Tuesday I have doctors appointment around one o'clock, if I remember right. Before that I have to go to the school and let them know that I accept that school place. And then in the Tuesday evening I have work until nine.

Next few days after that will be school -work -school – work – school – work, work, work. I'm waiting for that enthusiasticly!

Love,

Ambivalent

ps. OMG, I just saw drug dog! You know - those trained dogs who smell your bag and start barking if there's drugs or something. In the train. It was kinda awesome. I have never seen one before.

It feels like coming home.

Netherlands and Amsterdam – always so beautiful and lovely. When I stood in Amsterdam, I remembered again how much I love that place. It's something unique, something special.

Almost two years ago I met two awesome guys in Amsterdam. We partied, visited museums and stuff like that. We became good friends, but because of the distance, we haven't seen each other for a long time.

And still, when we met again – everything was so natural. We went out and had few drinks, they are the same idiots they were last time. We didn't need to rush anywhere, everything was there. I was little bit sick and tired after all travelling, but it was okay. I enjoyed spending time with them so much they can't even imagine it.

My hostel wasn't that good, but it was only for sleeping. I went to Pub Crawl and discovered that I have been drinking so much in one week that it's kind of hard to get drunk. I had awesome time, friendly people, dancing and drinking. Still I wasn't drunk at any point even though almost everyone else was.

Walking without shoes – again. It gets easier and easier everytime. I tried to disappear in the music, but it was also impossible when there was always someone saying ”you should keep your eyes open, they are so beautiful”. I had only few moments when I succeed to disappear - only for a short moment. I start to remember why I like going out alone.

Love,

Ambivalent

You need to know the right people

Next morning I arrived to Berlin.

What could I say.. Sleeping, partying, pure lazyness. I was absolutely one of the worst tourists there, because I didn't go sightseeing at all. Of course I knew there is quite much to see, like the Wall Monument, some museums and of course awesome graffities.

I was too lazy to go anywhere. Maybe that's okay, I still have time to go back to Berlin someday and do all the tourist stuff. I just wasn't that into it right now, so I thought there's no reason to force myself to go there. Maybe next time.

I went Berlin to see its crazy nightlife. I picked totally wrong days, Sunday and Monday aren't that good party days in Berlin. Especially if you don't know where to go. You need a local who knows the right places, who can get you in almost everywhere. I didn't have that so.. Nightlife in Berlin was kind of disappointing.

After Krakow I assumed Berlin would be much crazier, dancing everywhere, having fun all the time. But if you want to have a good party in Berlin, you have to know the right people. Pub Crawl there wasn't worth of it, bars and clubs weren't good and way too expensive for me.

But I had fun. I partied with one girl from belgium and it was so awesome. She doesn't usually party that much, but we kind of clicked. We got along so well, we could talk about everything and everyone assumed that we know each other before. But no, we were breakfast buddies! And somehow that girl reminded me about my cousin. It was kind f weird, but maybe that's one of the reasons why it was so comfortable to be with her.

Right now I'm sneezing all the time and I have a feeling I have fever. Not much but little bit. This illness has been coming for few days already, but I won't let it stop me. I have only few days left in this trip and then I'm going to Oslo to see my lovely aunt and rest before school and work starts.

Time goes too fast.

Love,

Ambivalent

Random things

I'm too lazy to write about Auschwitz. It was impressive, but it wasn't so powerful experience I expected. Everyone, who has been there, has said it's really hard and heavy experience, that you need to talk about it later. But I didn't get that feeling. That makes me wonder – how cold person am I.

Anyway. After Krakow I went back to Vienna, for couple hours. I was too sleepy to fully enjoy it, so I jumped on the train to München. München was too expensive for me, like whole Germany. Everyone who says that drinking in Germany is cheap is lying. It was about the same as home.

I met one boy from Pakistan in München. It was so nice! We met randomly in metro station and started to talk. First he was only showing a way to right station, but we ended up spending all day together. We went sightseeing a little bit, talked about almost everything and in the end of the day he gave me box of chocolate so I would remember him better.

I think these random meetings with random people are one of the best things about travelling. I have met so many new people, so many unique personalities. I learn something new all the time, I get new friends all over the world. I think at least few of these new friends will stay in my life.

Love,

Ambivalent

btw, did you know that in Pakistan they have four seasons at the same time? You know, in some part they have summer and in the other one is winter. That's kind of cool.

I got in!

I'm starting studying end of this month!

 Can you believe it? 

I'm actually going to study.

 After two years. 

I'm so shocked. 

This situation need a drink. Big one.

Love,

Ambivalent

Are you ready?

First night we had Vodka Tasting night. Which meant shots, shots, shots! For everyone! All the time. If I left the table for a while, I had to drink big shot when I came back. Luckily I know how to drink, so it wasn't problem for me. After drinking at the hostel, we went Pub Crawling. First night with girl hosts, second night with boy host.

Personally I liked more girl's choices. They listened same kind of music as I do, so of course I liked the bars and clubs they picked. And yea, Pub Crawls are not the same everytime. They change the bars, they can choose their favorite places.

Girl's choose more techno places (or maybe it was only the last one, that made me feel so good), the boy chose more popular places. And the problem with popular places is that there's usually bad music. Music you can't dance well, you can't disappear.

But both nights were nice. In first night I was quite drunk, I have sent message to my friend which said ”I just walked on broken glass and I didn't even feel anything!” And of course I got lost when me and one guy from hostel were trying to find our way back to hotel. After a while, we just took a taxi. I have no idea, what time I got to the hostel. I was the last one in our room to get back.

Next morning I woke up and I was still drunk. I was planning to take free walking tours and stuff like that, but it took too long to get up. So I just relaxed.

The second night was more intimate. I ended up talking about depression middle of the night in McDonalds. I spent second night with the guy who holds the longest stay in party hostel – record. 18 nights. And of course it means 18 days drinking. Wow.

Anyway, this time I was bed around 5, which was quite well. I wasn't the last one to come back!

Next day I went to Auchwitz. But more about that later.

Love,

Ambivalent

You won't get away from party

Oh, amazing Krakow. I lost my heart to it. Or maybe it was because of the people I met there.

I was staying at Greg and Tom's Party hostel and it was the perfect choice for me. I would recommend it to almost anyone. If you want to get new friends, if you are ready to party – this is your place.

First thing, and maybe the most useful, you get there, is a wristband. In party hostel it's silver, beer hostel gold. The wristband says your hostel name and address. So if you get too drunk, or just get lost – you can just take a taxi, show it to him/her and you will be on your way to your hostel! Really easy and absolutely brilliant. It also helps you to recognise who is from you hostel and who's not.

When I arrived to my room, one of my roommates said hello right away and we started to talk. And it happened with everyone! You can't feel lonely there, because everyone is like one big family. You are always welcome, everyone is ready to help you.

You get free breakfast and dinner there, just remember to be on time. Sometimes everyone are hungry as hell and there won't be food for you if you come even ten minutes later. So make sure you are there. Because the food is good, it's not gourmet food, but it's made with love. I really appreciate when I get everything at the same price.

Of course Greg and Tom organises Pub Crawls. I had never been in one, but I'll definitely go again. Now I really know, it's pretty awesome way to get known to new city. Hopefully there's Pub Crawl in Berlin too.

Since this post ended up being only about the hostel – I'm gonna stop here and make another post about what I actually did in Krakow.

Love,

Ambivalent

It's hard to remember

I'm getting over the loneliness I had in Praha. I arrived to Warszawa, spent there few hours. And now I'm on my way to Krakow. Tom and Greg's party hostel. That's something I can't wait. I hope it's as good as people are saying.

About Warszawa. It was quite interesting place. Old buildings next to tall, shiny buildings. Historic scenes, right next to glass buildings. The contrast of things was amazing. In first look, it seem a little bit like Helsinki.

I have started to realize that many cities are quite similar. Or maybe I just get confused, because I have been changing the location so often. I can't remember which city had the best public transportation, they are starting to get mixed together.

Even if many cities are the same, I want to see as many as I can. Because they also have their differences, those small things that makes it beautiful. Something unique. Some places take more time to find them, some less. But they are there. You just need to open your eyes.

Sometimes I forget to do that.

Love,

Ambivalent

and yes, this has been written yesterday.

When loneliness gets into you

After spending night with those French guys, after we talked about seeing each other – I was kind of dissapointed when we didn't meet after all. They seemed really nice and - like boys usually – really easy-going and relaxed.

I think this was the first time, when I felt a little bit lonely. I was looking forward to spent time with them and when it didn't happen, I realized that I'm all alone. I wanted to talk with someone, but I was too lazy to start a conversation with anyone. I wanted to go to bar and have drink, but when I tried to do it alone – I realized my ID is in my other bag. And there wasn't anyone who would laugh with me.

You know, first I got little bit scared because feeling lonely. I felt like it's somehow forbidden to feel lonely. I'm travelling alone, so I should never feel alone! I'm a bad traveller if I feel any ”bad” feelings.

But then I understood that it's okay to feel lonely, sad or dissapointed. There's nothing wrong about it. I'm allowed to have those feelings, it doesn't mean that I'm a bad person. It just means that I would have loved to spend time with those guys, that I'm still working on how to react when plans are ghancing.

And it doesn't mean that I'm not enjoying my trip.

Love,

Ambivalent

City full of tourist stuff

Praha, Prague, Praga, Prag. You can call it with many names. But it's still the same.

So we arrived to Praha with those 5 French guy. Chilled in the station, had some breakfast and waited their hostel to open. I spent morning with them until they went to hostel to drop their stuff and probably sleep a little bit. I left my backpack in central railway station and started to explore the city.

I didn't know there was so many things to see! I went to the Castle and its garden, I walked on Charles Bridge, took photos of musicians in Old Town Square. Walked around in Jewish quarter, tried to find supermarket in Wenceslas Square. Took photo of Dancing House.

I probably saw much more, but I just didn't know them to be something tourist stuff.

I laid down in the grass, had picnic, talked to new people. Smoked way too many cigarettes. Had interesting conversations with my host. Travelled to the north part of Praha, had excellent sleep. Took long hot shower, washed my hair and realized it has turned blue during this trip.

My host was awesome and talked so good English. He could even make jokes in English! I mean, many people make jokes in English, but usually you can't be sure if it was a joke or not. Especially when you have just met. But this guy – he could joke and I still understood when he was joking or being sarcastic.

I also managed to lose my phone charger, toothbrush and one sock – all of them in one day. Sad but true. Luckily those were the first things I have lost in this trip.

Love,

Ambivalent

Night at train

I'm not sure if anyone of you noticed that in last post, it was kind of hard to keep mind in one thing. But it was. It was because I'm writing after Praha. I have usually written right after leaving the country, so I have everything fresh in my mind. But this time it was impossible.

Because at the night train from Budapest to Praha, I was sleeping at the same cabin with 5 Frech guys. So of course we wanted to talk, get to know each other and everything. That trip was awesome!

First of all – have you ever put your head out of the window of the train? I have. Third of me was out of the train and that feeling was something unbelievable. The wind in my face, the freedom. I couldn't stop smiling.

After enjoying the speed, we started to talk. We drank beer and talked. Smoked at the back of the train. At the end we had like 3 hours sleep. But it was worth of it. I really liked spending time with those guys. We were planning to spent some time together in Praha, but it never happened. More about Praha later!

Love,

Ambivalent

I fell in love with Budapest!

It was so beautiful city, public transportation worked like a dream and it was easier to use than I thought at first sight. Finding a hostel was little bit hard, because the one where I was planning to go wasn't where its supposed to be. And when I found WiFi, I found out it was already full.

So I had to find a new hostel. Luckily I found one, but it also meant that I was late from Sziget.

Sziget – what a wonderful festival. Beautiful colours, wonderful people and happenings everywhere. I saw dragon made of plastic bottles, Colosseum. Happy people, drunk people, people on drugs.

I missed Dub FX, but it's okay. The festival itself was worth of going. I went to see Mika and after that I was mainly at the Party Stage. As you may have noticed, I have thing for electric music right now.

But the best place where I visit was some place with soft sand. You can imagine how amazing it was! Dancing without shoes, sand getting everywhere. There was one blond girl. About my age. And she danced with me all the time I spent there. I wish I had her number.

I spent most of my time with three men and one woman. They were awesome! We danced a lot, drank and talked. I disappeared into the music again and one of them told me, that I seemed like I was on drugs when I was dancing. It's nothing new, normally people say that I seem like I'm on ecstasy, but this time I was told that it seemed more LSD or macig mushrooms. Seriously, have I gotten that bad?

Love,

Ambivalent

Why do you travel so much?

And why do you do it alone?

Many people has asked me that. It's usually the people, who doesn't travel that much or people, who haven't travelled alone. They want to know what am I trying to escape, why abroad – why isn't your own country enough. How can I afford to travel that often. How am I so brave to travel alone!

Like Red always says – it's not about the money. Never let money to stop your dreams. It's never about the money. You'll always find away to collect the money – at least if you are from western country. If the money is the only thing in your way, you have to ask you – do you really want to do it so badly or is money just excuse for you.

One of the reasons why I travel so much is that it makes me feel alive. And all of you know how badly I want to feel alive, how much I need it. It makes me live in this moment, forget everything else. It makes every second count.

The other reason is that I can concentrate better when I'm travelling. I see things more clearly. I haven't found a way to do that at home, so it's easier to take a little distance. I learn new things, about the world and myself. It helps me to be better me.

And of course the language. I like the idea that no one understands me if I talk my mother language. I also like when I don't understand what people are saying around me. It makes my imagination run wild and I love it! I get better inspiration for writing, as you can see.

So why do I travel alone. Because it's the only way I can truly relax. I like travelling with friends, being in Iceland with Red was so awesome. But it's different. When you are alone, you decide everything. You are responsible only for your own happiness. You don't have to worry about anyone else.

And that's why I travel alone. I need break from taking care of everyone else.

Probably most of you already know these things, because I have been talking about these. But this is more for myself. My brother used to travel and he loved it, nowadays he can't understand why people want to travel so much. So if I ever lose my love towards travelling, I want to be able to remember why I loved it so much.

Love,

Ambivalent

This is what dreams are made of

When you meet people who shares the same intrest, it's easier to talk about them. Like travelling and couchsurfing. Those are easy subjects to talk about. I have met so many couchsurfers during my trip – and it hasn't been even a week yet. We always have the same conversation with everyone.

Where have you been?

Where do you wanna go?

For some reason, talking about travelling dreams is easier than I thought. I have never actually talked about my dreams so clearly, I always say everywhere. I want to see everything, experience as much as I can. Get to known of small cultures, people all around of the world. I want to learn our difference and similarities.

Now I have an idea where I want to travel and how, when and which order. I have small plan inside my head and it's a start. It's like my dreams are building themselves.

Love,

Ambivalent

Make your own world

Have you ever listened people talking some language you don't understand and imagine what they are saying? I do that a lot and I think it's one of the most amazing things to do abroad.

One time in train, I was sitting next to three men. Two of them were little bit older than me, one was at least 40 something. Everyone of them was dressed diferently and I wouldn't guessed that they were travelling together if I haven't seen them to share computer and water. I listened them talking, they didn't talk that much. It was more about body language.

Some point there was some officer, talking to them. Of course I didn't understand anything, but it seemed like the officer was interested about those men's bags. The officer was pointing the bags with light and saying something. It felt like he wanted to see what's inside.

Somehow those men manage to talk their way out and convince the officer that he doesn't need to see inside of them. The officer left and those men seemed much more relaxed after that.

All I could think was  I'm sitting next to drug dealers.

Love,

Ambivalent

Goodbye Roma!

I have so much to tell! I would love to tell you everything, but there's no point of that. I can't explain what I have experienced so far, what I have seen, how everything changes you. How you fell in love for a second, how you realize that you just get along with someone better than someone else.

Roma. What could I say. It was nice, but not as amazing as I thought. 

In Roma I saw Vatican or part of it, Pantheon, Saint Angelo's Castle (outside) and Spanish steps. I had ice cream on Piazza Navona, made a wish at Fontana di Trevi, took photo on Clossoeum. I learned how to use metro and other public transportation – it was easier than I though. I didn't got robbed, even though everyone was warning me about how easily everyone gets robbed.

I learned much more about history, especially about Russian history. I had cheese and wine with Russians and realized that I have already met 4 Russian girls in this trip. Somehow I seem to get along with all of them quite nicely. My English pronunciation was appreciated. Especially when compared with italians.

In the end, I think Roma was nice, but overrated. Of course there was some ancient history and views were quite amazing most of the times. But it didn't give me feeling this is the place were I belong. I liked Sicily much more.

Love,

Ambivalent

ps. I will add photos as soon as I can. I will probably make one post for pictures only. 

And yea, I have a feeling that now on, I won't have time to write so much. But I write as much as I can and I'll probably post few post at the same time. Like today.

Random decision are the best ones

So I finally arrived to Roma.
I was planning to go to hostel, where H and S stayed when they were in Roma. I never made it there. It was 8 kilometres from centre. I arrived to Roma so late, that metros has stopped working. And I had no idea where the hell is the buss station I was supposed to go.

So I decided to go with a guy I met in the train.

We took the same train to Roma. And we started to talk each other during the trip. Or in fact he came to ask where am I going. It turns out that he is using couchsurfing and he has couch available on that night. After a little bit talking, I decided to go with him.

And I don't regret that decision. I ended up sleeping on the couch at the hotel where he worked. I slept there until his workday (or worknight) was over and then we went to his place. Around 12 I decided to start doing things and go out.

Note to myself – always book your trains (especially night trains) much earlier.

I waited for my ticket like 2 hour, just to find out that there are no seats left for that night. So I ended up spending one more night in Roma.

Luckily there was still room at my previous host, so I just went back. We went to meet two Russian girls, they were couchsurfers too. We went to see Spanish steps, Colosseum and just walked around. Of course our host had to go working at night, so we spent rest of the night just three of us.

And we got along so well!

”I'm so full of kissing and hugging!” Yea, I know what you mean. I know it's a culture thing, but they didn't kiss that much in Sicily. Or those two guys who I met on the ferry. This was something different. It was like – kiss when we meet first time, kiss and hug when someone leaves, kiss and hug when you're starting to collect your stuff, kiss and hugs when you leave. It happened so many times, it started to feel weird.

I think it's nicer in France, where you don't actually kiss someone their cheek (or at least that I have been told), you just give air kisses. In Italy they give actual kisses. I would understand if you give real kisses to those people you actually know. It's different between close friends and person you just met.

But it's culture difference. You just need to go with it.

Love,

Ambivalent

Time has different meaning here

I don't know how, but days seem longer than home. Maybe it's because I see something new all the time. It makes every minute count. I do more every day, I have been walking so much that my feet hurt like hell. But I'm happy. Extremely happy.

Bari was quick stop. I just went there, eat a little bit and jumped on the train.

Note to myself – always make sure do I need reservation for train. Yes, I jumped on the train that had compulsory reservation. Which meant that I jumped off the train middle of nowhere. In this case, it was Foggia.

I have never heard of that town. Never. I have no idea what's there, but I spent few hours there. I would have loved to walk around, but because of the sunburns in my feet – I couldn't. I tried to find farmacy, which I found, but of course it was closed. Damn me and my bad luck.

Foggia was full of men. I think like 80% of the people I saw, was men. It was weird. And akward, especially when I was wearing a top. You can imagine how much attention my boobs got. Luckily I had my towel to cover myself a little bit.

Anyway. I finally manage to get the train to Roma. I made a seat reservation, just in case. And still turned out that I had to sit on different seat, because of some italian family. They had 5 people sitting there, and I thought – okay, maybe I just leave them to be. Even though deep inside, I wanted to tell them to fuck off. I paid extra for that seat and didn't even manage to use it. But it's okay, at least I finally arrived to Roma.

Love,

Ambivalent

Corfu - Bari

Two days behind. Sunny days in Corfu, laying at beach, swimming in the ocean. I didn't remember how easy it was to float in the ocean, the salt made it so much easier than in the lakes. Small, clean streets, beautiful people everywhere. Dogs and cats walking between people, I won't ever get used to that. Small shops everywhere, open until 10 - 12 pm, because of the tourist. Supermarkets that are connect between different buildings, that's the only way to make even a little bit bigger markets.

Soft sand between toes, burning like hell. Warm water, it's not as refreshing as I hoped. Smiling like maniac, it feels like home. Listening people talking, I love how they speak english even though they could speak russian together. Learning so much about the world, I have been in my own bubble for so long time – I forgot how differently people think.

Sun burns around my body makes walking hard, moving hurts like hell. Note to myself: Never forget to put sunlotion. Never.

Running and waiting, running and waiting. No one knows when the ferry arrives or leaves. Finally gates open, check-in starts – where the hell is the ferry? Finally it comes and we get in. Ticket says ”Class : Deck”, never thought it would actually mean deck. So many people sleeping on the floors. Me and my companions pick a place and try to sleep. I envy those people with sleeping mattress.

Nightmares, my mind is definetly trying to compare itself to face diffucult situations. Right know I know exactly what I would do if my backpack would be stolen. Waking up middle of the by one of the companions - ”look at the sunset”. For a while, everything is so calm and beautiful. Until I fell asleep again.

Soon I'll arrive to Bari. And my andventure can continue again.

Love,

Ambivalent

Make me feel alive

Less than an hour and my little adventure will start. I can't believe I'm really going again. Whole vacation abroad, three weeks with small bag. Seriously, I took less things with me than I carry with me everyday at home. But I know I'll survive. I always do.

I try to keep you guys updated, but I can't promise that I have time to post.

Have fun and enjoy as much as I'll.
Here I go.

Love,
Ambivalent

You are nothing without me.

Don't only do everything possible in your life -

 do something impossible!

You have no idea how much that sentence made me smile. I have been stressing about my trip (yea, I know it's stupid to stress about it..) and that one simply thing made me feel so much better. Red, you are awesome.

The reason why I have been stressing is that I have a feeling like I should be making plans, that's something I always do. I need to know where I'm going, so I can tell everyone at home where I'm heading. So they can feel more secure. For some reason, travelling alone is still a taboo for many people. Deep inside they know I'm gonna survive and anything bad won't happen. But still they are little bit scared. That's only natural. And since they are scared - they make me feel insecure too.

Even though I have the feeling that I should be making plans, I'm extremely happy when I don't. Because I would really love to go with the flow. Follow my heart and see what happens. But I'm afraid that I'll run out of travelling days and that would suck.

And how could my traveling days run out? Because I'm planning to get InterRail Global Pass 10 days within 22 days. Which means I can travel 10 days during 22 days. I can pick any days, but those days are limited to ten. And it's not much, if you are planning to visit Romania (btw, it seems to be impossible to get out of Romania. I might skip that.), Bulgaria, Serbia or something. It's really hard to get away from there.

Only one workday left! Then my three weeks vacation starts. Awesomeness.

Love,
Ambivalent