Thursday, August 15, 2013

When loneliness gets into you

After spending night with those French guys, after we talked about seeing each other – I was kind of dissapointed when we didn't meet after all. They seemed really nice and - like boys usually – really easy-going and relaxed.

I think this was the first time, when I felt a little bit lonely. I was looking forward to spent time with them and when it didn't happen, I realized that I'm all alone. I wanted to talk with someone, but I was too lazy to start a conversation with anyone. I wanted to go to bar and have drink, but when I tried to do it alone – I realized my ID is in my other bag. And there wasn't anyone who would laugh with me.

You know, first I got little bit scared because feeling lonely. I felt like it's somehow forbidden to feel lonely. I'm travelling alone, so I should never feel alone! I'm a bad traveller if I feel any ”bad” feelings.
But then I understood that it's okay to feel lonely, sad or dissapointed. There's nothing wrong about it. I'm allowed to have those feelings, it doesn't mean that I'm a bad person. It just means that I would have loved to spend time with those guys, that I'm still working on how to react when plans are ghancing.

And it doesn't mean that I'm not enjoying my trip.

Love,

Ambivalent

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