After spending night with those French
guys, after we talked about seeing each other – I was kind of
dissapointed when we didn't meet after all. They seemed really nice
and - like boys usually – really easy-going and relaxed.
I think this was the first time, when I
felt a little bit lonely. I was looking forward to spent time with
them and when it didn't happen, I realized that I'm all alone. I
wanted to talk with someone, but I was too lazy to start a
conversation with anyone. I wanted to go to bar and have drink, but
when I tried to do it alone – I realized my ID is in my other bag.
And there wasn't anyone who would laugh with me.
You know, first I got little bit scared
because feeling lonely. I felt like it's somehow forbidden to feel
lonely. I'm travelling alone, so I should never feel alone! I'm a bad
traveller if I feel any ”bad” feelings.
But then I understood that it's okay to
feel lonely, sad or dissapointed. There's nothing wrong about it. I'm
allowed to have those feelings, it doesn't mean that I'm a bad
person. It just means that I would have loved to spend time with
those guys, that I'm still working on how to react when plans are
ghancing.
And it doesn't mean that I'm not
enjoying my trip.
Love,
Ambivalent
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