Do you know that feeling, when you look at our past life and realize you have changed so much that you can't recognize yourself anymore? This happened to me this year. I hardly know the person I was in the beginning of this year. This year changed me. And I hope it's good thing.
I traveled quite much. I was part of EFI-project and traveled to Sicily because of it. No one understands how much that short trip changed all of us. All of us who gave it a chance to change things. In so short time I grew up so much, I got known to myself so much better. I forgot one piece of my heart there.
Then I went to Iceland to see M. That trip totally changed my life. While I was there, I remembered how happy I can be, how much love there is inside of me. How much I really love life. And like first time of my life, I knew exactly what I want. It was so awesome feeling. Iceland showed me where I should go.
In October I went to Norway and I loved it. It wasn't as life changing experience as the other trips were, but that's natural. I went there to see my aunt and uncle, and luckily I saw my cousin at the same time. It was really short visit, but I liked it. Oslo is really beautiful town and I'm going back there as soon as possible.
Of course my year wasn't only about traveling. My cats got babies in the end of April, so I became granny for four little kittens. They were so awesome and extremely cute, even though they were sometimes pain in the ass. But I loved them and I'm planning to go see all of them next year. I can't wait to see how much they have grown.
Then there was the most changing thing - my break up. I couldn't be happier that it happened. I feel more like myself again, I never realized how badly I had lost myself in that relationship. I know - I'm still lost, but it doesn't feel as bad as it used to feel. Of course I loved my ex, but I'm much happier without him. I feel more alive! And I hope I have learnt something, I don't want to give up my things because I'm dating someone. I don't want to get lost again.
I'm changing so fast that I'm not sure who am I. I'm getting lost inside myself, but it's okay. I know I will find myself someday. Maybe I need to get lost, before I can find anything. The journey matters, not the destination.
Love,
Ambivalent
"Everything you see and experience in Sicily, well, you can't have anywhere else. No one will believe you when you tell about it, 'couse it seems so unreal for someone who hasn't been here."
ReplyDeleteNiin se vaan on, kyllä me muututtiin, opittiin ja kasvettiin. Ihan hullu mennyt vuosi.