You can't hold me down

Too many new people, I don't have time to get to know anyone. I smile to everyone, let them in my life. But never too close. You can tell me how different I am, how unique I am, but I know that's not true. I'm like everyone else. You can tell me how much you like me, how I have changed your world. How much you want me. But it's no use. I'm still leaving.

I know I'm going to hurt someone. Sooner or later, it'll happen. And somehow, I'm too selfish to care. I can't make everyone happy without making myself unhappy. I have to concentrate on me, I have to be selfish for a while.
I might be an asshole, maybe even douchebag. But I know that's the only way for me right now. And it's not going to last forever.

I know what you want to hear and see. I know what you like. How to make you go crazy, how to make you want me. I know how to get what I want. And I'll get what I want. I'll just take it and after it I'll vanish and leave you behind.

You will never understand how much I want to be free. You will never understand how much you mean to me. And I won't ever be able to explain reasons behind my acts.

Love,
Ambivalent

ps. Remember when I told you I want to be like you? That I want to live in the moment, that I want to be free. I'm getting there and it's freaking me out.