Tomorrow is another day

Is it okay if I don't know where to go? Is it okay if I don't know where I want to go?
I don't have anything I really want right now, I don't know where I should go. I don't have any goals. I'm not sure do I like it or not. I don't have any purpose. I'm just floating around, doing things that doesn't matter. Doing things that doesn't get me anywhere.

That's why I'm lost. I'm lost in my own paradise. I love my world, my own little world. I love my life, it's really awesome. Partying, dancing, not caring about anything. Smiling, laughing, feeling good. I'm so happy but also so lost.

I need the way where to go. I need something, something to seize on. Everyone knows I love making plans and I do that really often. I plan my future, my life. It helps me keep myself together. But I haven't done any plans for long time now. It has been about two months. Two months without making plans.. It's messing with my head.

Of course I would make some plans if I knew what to plan. I don't know what to plan. I usually plan things, because I want to get something, I want to do something. Now I don't have anything.
Everything is awesome and scary at the same. Lovely and distressing. I love everything and everyone, I feel so good. Most of the time. The better I feel, the worse I feel. It's really exhausting. I'm tired of these mood swings!

I'm so glad Red is coming here next Monday. Maybe she makes some sense into my mind. Just by being near to me, talking with me. Walking with me. 

Love,
Ambivalent