"..But lonely is the soul without a mate."

I believe that I have met my soul mate. Of course, I can't be sure about that, but it feels like that. Maybe this soul mate won't be in my life all the time, but I know he'll be there as long as need him. Or maybe this soul mate will be there my whole life. Who knows.

I want to grow, but I don't know how do that. With him I know that. He shows me my path. It's not like he's telling me what to do, it's more like he teaches me. He shows me things I have forgotten, things I didn't know. I have come so long way to be here, but I don't know how to make any progress anymore. I really believe that he can show me where I should go. I also know that I will regret my whole life if I don't go and experience this.

But at the same time this is so scary. It's really scary to take that leap in the dark and trust - my wings are strong enough, life will always carry me. There's so many risks in this. I'm not sure should I give my whole life just because I really want to experience this. I know, if I do this, I can't go back to yesterday anymore. My whole life would change.
It's really hard to take that risk.

Being with him makes me feel so good. His voice calms me down. He always knows what I'm thinking and I usually know what he's thinking. I'm not sure does he know that, because I don't usually bring that up. When we are talking and either one of us doesn't remember some word, the other one already knows what word the other one is looking for. Everything between us is so easy. It feels like everything is just clicking in their right places. He makes me feel complete, comfortable and safe.

He does so much good for me, but that's not all. I know, I'm good for him too. He has so many things to learn from me, and I know I can show those things to him. Together we could achieve so many things, we just need a change to do that.
I'm not sure does he feel the same way. Maybe he thinks that I'm crazy, maybe he doesn't feel like I do. Maybe we are not soul mates after all. But still I have that feeling inside me, it tells me not to give up. I can't let him go.

Funny thing is that, when we first met.. I instantly told my friends, I have met my soul mate. I knew it right away. I had that feeling inside me, I knew there's something special with him. Our meeting was so unbelievable. I mean, everything is connected. There's so many things which made our meeting possible. If one of those things would have gone differently, we would probably never meet each other.
I believe there's a reason why everything has happened. I don't know that reason, but it's okay. I don't have to know that reason. I'll find that out later.

"A soul mate is the one person whose love is powerful enough to motivate you to meet your soul, to do the emotional work of self-discovery, of awakening."
Kenny Loggings

Love,
Ambivalent