We have been partying three days and I have bought like only one drink by myself. Every time I try to buy drink, someone comes and says " Hey, let me buy you a shot!" It's nice, but also fucking annoying. I have money to buy my own drinks, I don't need someone else to buy anything for me. Don't get me wrong, I like being treated like a lady, it's always nice to get some attention. But I'm not use to that someone buys me things. It feels so weird. Especially when that someone is a guy.
If guy buys me a drink or food or anything, I can't be sure why he does it. Is it because he wanted to or just because I'm a woman. I know, I should be enjoying. I shouldn't be wondering about something like that, but I can't help it. It feels kinda wrong to get things free. I'm weirdo.
Anyway. These four days have been awesome. I have met so many new people and everyone of them have been so nice to me. Only problem is that I don't know how to speak English. Okay, I know how to speak English, but I'm too shy to speak. I can't even pronounce basic stuff, and it sucks. There's so many things I want to tell these people, but I can't. I don't have words to do that. I just keep smiling and in my head I tell them everything I want. I have had so many conversations in my head in these four days.
Tomorrow M is going to work and after work his parents are coming to see me. That's so weird! But I can't wait that I can spent 8 hours on my own. I might go to town and just get lost.
Love,
Ambivalent
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