These aren't goodbyes.

I'm back home again. Iceland was amazing and I want to go back so badly. It's nice to be home, see my cats and boyfriend, but my heart is in Iceland now. I'm waiting for it to come back. Hopefully it comes back soon. Or at least most of it..

My trip was so awesome. I can't even describe how much I loved that place. I know that most of my trip was partying, but I knew it before I went there so it wasn't a surprise. It was nice to see how Icelandic people drink and party. Everyone was so happy while partying and I didn't see any drama or crying. This may sound bad, but I'm used to seeing people crying and fighting when they are drunk. You can't spent one night without any problems here.
But in Iceland it's possible. Maybe I just picked perfect company to party.

I don't know what to tell about my trip. I'm almost speechless. My friends have been asking how my trip was, but I can't answer. I want to tell them everything, I want them to know how everyone looked at me, how they made fun of me in the good way, how they made me feel so good. How I stole a glass from the bar, how M tried his best to make me happy. How I stole the good weather when I left. Akureyri is sad because I left.

I want to tell everyone what that trip meant to me. I can't remember when was the last time I felt so good. I realized that I want to change many things in my life. I experienced so many things, I can't go back to my old life.
The most important thing that I learned was to trust my own feelings. It felt so good to know exactly what I want. I knew what I wanted and I also said it. The best thing was when no one said no to me. I'm so grateful to M, that he listened and encouraged me to do what I really wanted. That's why I walked on grass without shoes or socks, I danced without caring about anything. I walked many hours without stopping, I spent money on stupid things. I was free for a moment. I wish I could feel that way more often.

So M, if you're reading this - thanks for being so wonderful. I don't how did you do it, but you made everything so easy. You didn't force me to choose, but you knew exactly when I wanted something. And you agreed to everything. Many people have tried to do what you actually managed to do. You were first one who did it. Thank you.

Love,
Ambivalent