It's me again, I won't go away

I realized today that my and M's honeymoon is over. You know, that time when you want to know everything about the other one, time when you can't wait to see other one online, time when all you want is talking to him/her. Time when you almost forgot to live your own life because you just want to have the other one in your life so badly.

We have got known to each other well enough, so we start to live our own lifes again. I knew this will happen sooner or later, I even told my ex that this won't last forever. I knew that some day we won't spent all day online. But this is kind of sad. We have been talking to each other almost every day last 6 months and I don't mean like just a little bit. We have been talking a lot. We have been online really much, almost all the time. We love talking to each other (well, at least I like talking to him, and I believe he likes to talk to me too), but it's time to let other one to have a normal life. We can't live on the computers.

But I know now, that M isn't going anywhere. He won't dissapear even if we don't talk every day. He won't go away if I don't call him every day. He's here to stay. At least I really hope so. I just have to trust he won't go away.

All of my friends say that I glow when I talk about M. They say I'm always happy, my eyes start to shine and I can't stop smiling. I try not to talk about M so much, but my friends have said that it's really nice to hear me talking about him, because it seems to make me so happy. I believe that, it's always nice to see someone to be happy. But too much is always too much.

Anyway, it feels so good to start to live again. I have lost so many days, I can't remember what I have been doing for so long time. I can't find memories, it feels like my life is going on, but I'm not controlling it. But slowly I'm taking control again.
I even saw my friends today. Only for little moment, but still. It felt so good. They played with my cats and oh man, my cats were so happy. I have been bad owner lately, I haven't played with them. I have only cuddled with them. I think I really have to start take better care of them, I want them to be happy.

Love,
Ambivalent