I'm starting packing tomorrow. I really need to get out of this apartment. It doesn't do anything good for me to be here. I can't write freely, I can't eat. Being here sucks all of my energy and happiness out of me.
I can't smile, I don't feel like smiling. I need to get out of here, so I can start being happy again. Too bad that I have to stay here end of next month. Or at least pay the rent. I'm going to get out before that. This month. That's my goal. I want to go to the place, where I feel good. I have to start building myself again.
I can't stand my x-boyfriend right now. He doesn't go to school, practice or anywhere. He doesn't do anything. He only makes things harder for himself. He keep saying "it's not time for shape up". What the fuck? Okay, I know. It's normal to feel down after breaking up, but that's just wrong. You shouldn't stop living.
I'm continuing my life. I keep going to work, I talk with other people. I keep making plans. I can't stop right now. I need to get out of here, I want my stuff away from here, somewhere save. I don't want that my life stops here, I have so many things to do. After I get to my new place, then I have time to stop and figure out what I'm gonna do with my life.
I can't wait to start packing! Even though this is the end, it's also a beginning for me. I closed one door, but it opened many more. Now I have to make my choice. Where should I go next?
Love,
Ambivalent
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