Whistle all you want, but I'm not gonna stay

This is so true. Of course I have always known these things, but sometimes it's good to remind yourself about these fact. About that you make your own life. That you are the one who can change it. Life is one big video game, take the controller.

I have been trying to follow these rules, but it's kind of hard thing to do. It's hard to go after you want, but I'm trying to learn to do it. I'm working on it. Finally I have found out what I want and now I'm trying to get it too. 

I'm still a little bit confused about the fact that I know what I want. I haven't known that for long time, but after my Iceland trip I found it out. After that one night. I hope I'll always remember that day. I believe it changed my life.

Asking. Well. I followed that rule by asking my friend to come to Iceland with me few days ago. I think one of the reasons why I don't ever ask anyone to come with me, is that I assumed them to say no. I didn't ask anyone help me to move. I just did it all my own. Few times I asked my friends to help cleaning, some of them came, some didn't. 

But asking is good thing. I think I don't have any problems with it. Okay, maybe I have some problems with asking someone to help. But that's whole different thing, maybe I get back to that some day.

And finally my favorite. Moving forward. In my life situation it's all I want. I want to move on and continue my life. I can't wait end of this month. I can't wait to be able to close one chapter of my life and go on. 

I'm finally in the situation that everything is possible right now. I can do everything I want. And I'm so tired of being just here, at this same place. Maybe that's why I love travelling so much, I don't like being in just one place too long time. I wanna keep on moving.

I have changed so much lately and I like this new me more than the me I used to be. I'm much more positive, I'm much more happier. I know what I want, and even if things don't go the way I want them to go, I can live with it. My world is more balanced than ever before this. I think balanced is not the right word.. It's like, my world doesn't end if I get hurt. My world continues even if something goes wrong. I think I have done something right with my life, it feels so good to know that I have build good basis for myself. I'm on my way to find myself.

Love,

Ambivalent