I'm too restless. I can't concentrate on anything, my mind just keep jumping one thing to another. I can't just sit, I have to keep moving all the time. I don't sleep as much as I normally do. And this is getting worse and worse all the time. Or better and better.
I feel so good and I'm not sure is it normal good feeling or is there something wrong with me again. My mood is so awesome and I'm not use to that. There's small part inside of my fearing that this is mania. I don't want to have any other mental problems. But I think as long as I know there's a possibility to have some problems, I don't have to worry. If I had some problems, I couldn't see them by myself, right.
"Go wild. You deserve to go wild. Just don't be stupid."
I decided to ignore that fear this isn't normal. I'm gonna just enjoy the ride. Go with the flow. And see where I end up. I know I'm much happier when I'm not trying to control things, so that's what I should do. Stop trying to control everything. But I know I do stupid things if I don't control everything. Maybe it's worth of it.
Love,
Ambivalent
Well, I hope you're alright. Maybe a kiss from me would make you feel better, lol. (I'm still trying.)
ReplyDeleteDear Ambivalent,
ReplyDeleteI'm not in any way an expert, but I very much doubt that you're on the edge of an actual, mental disorder type of mania - if you were bipolar, I have a strong impression you'd (and we'd all) probably know by now. What I do know for a fact is that that sounds curiously familiar - I was pretty much the same for about 6 months after my biggest break-up, so maybe that runs in the family. It was such a painful time and such a wonderful time, too. So be wild, enjoy, take care. Remember to eat something once in a while. I wish the best end November yet. Xxx
Yours,
M