You can't hold us down

I have awesome friends, but I don't have my own crew. You know, that inside group who knows you the best, you hang with them all the time. You can call your group "us". I don't have that. I just have many random friends and okay, I have two girls who are like my gang.
I have collected my close friends from different places. I don't know how it happens or why it happens, but it seems like I get one or two close friends almost everywhere I go, I have friends from almost every phase of my life.

Now I'm going to tell you about two of my best friends. They are my really really small inside group, or at least they used to be.

My best friend, H,  is also my oldest friend. We have known since we were little babies. We used to live houses next to each others and our parents were friends too. The she moved away and everyone was sure we won't keep in touch. But we did. We are still best friends. I actually think we became best friends after she moved away. She's awesome person. She doesn't judge me, she's always there for me. Sometimes there might be many months without talking to each other, but every time we start talking again - it's like nothing has happen. I know she's always there for me if I need her. And she knows I'm here for her too. I don't know what would I do if she didn't exist.
We have experienced so much together. We are completely different persons, but I think that's one of the reasons why we are still friends. We have grown together. We known how the other grew up, we have been standing together in the storms. She has seen all of my styles, she has been standing next to me through my depression. She has seen all of my boyfriends and she knows exactly how I feel. I have seen how her family fell apart, how she must be the adult in the house. How she grew up in crazy environment and still turned up more sane than me. We have seen each other's phases, we know exactly how everything has gone.

Then my other best friend, S.
We met in primary school (we disagree with this, S says we met in kindergarden, but I don't remember her from there). She was one of the "cool girls" and saw that I was bullied. She wanted to get me out of that friend group. She just took me in that cool girls group and saved me. Our friendship hasn't been so easy from the beginning, once we didn't talk to each other for almost half year. And it was not like me and H, it was like "I hate you, don't ever talk to me again"-period. But she grew up and now we are really good friends.
S is also so awesome. Even though she doesn't always understand me, she tries. I know she haven't ever understood how can I be depressed, but she never said that to me. She never questioned it straight to me. She just went with it. She has changed a lot during the years. We use to party together - a lot. She was the crazy party girl. And I always took care of her. But nowadays, she engaged and settled down. It's everything she ever wanted. There was time when we didn't see that often, but lately - I have been seeing her more often and I love it!

Me, H and S have been awesome team so long time. First H and S hated each other, but after a while, after they got known to each other.. We became best friends together. We started to party together almost every weekend and it was so awesome. S was usually the one who went crazy and did something stupid, so me and H followed her and cleaned after her.
S was the stereotypical blond, H was the one with common sense and me.. I was the one who guided all of us even though I was lost. I was the wise one of us. We are all different, but we still love each other. I'm not sure how it's possible that we are still this good friends. I guess it doesn't matter. The only thing matters is that we are friends, best friends.

Love,
Ambivalent