It's just money

Damn, I have used almost all of my money. I don't know how's that possible, because usually I plan perfectly how I use my money. But I'm so tired of doing that. I have been doing it too long time, I have been preparing myself for the future and it has led to that I have forgot to life in the moment.

I have been saving money for everything. Like own apartment, travelling and just because I need to have money if something happens. Of course it's good. It just takes so much energy. I have organized my money well, I know exactly how much money I need every month and I put that money in different bank account, so I won't use it. Then I put most of my money on safe in different bank accounts. After that I have money I can spent every month.

But this month.. I have spent more than just those left over money. Way more. And I have been enjoying my life more than I have enjoyed anything for a long time. I'm so bored to live like I want safe and balanced life. Of course it's kind of nice to have some balance in my life, but it's so fucking boring.

And I want more.

Love,
Ambivalent